Gratitude in Challenging Times: Everything Is A Gift

Many of us have had quite a turbulent year, and not just because of the pandemic. Of course it is easy to see the gifts in events and situations we evaluate as positive, but the biggest rewards come when we are able to see the gift in everything… EVERYTHING. This year has given most of us a particularly good opportunity to learn and practice this, and now we can reflect on this year and see if we can recognize the gift in all of it.

Challenges always have a gift
Being confronted with a challenging situation is always an opportunity. It offers you a choice in how you are going to deal with it or react to it, an opportunity to learn about yourself (to see who you are and how far you’ve come), and usually also an opportunity to give. And giving or responding with love is a gift to yourself as well.
Often we can see the gift of a tough situation in hindsight, but we can also train ourselves to see it in the moment. That was the focus of this year for me. Can I see the gifts life brings as it happens, as the events are unfolding? And it turns out, I can. Maybe not always instantly, but often not long after. And so can you.
If you are looking back on a grim year that had nothing to offer, think again. Make it a challenge to look back on the year and find the hidden gifts that were there all along. Look for the gift in each moment, especially the challenging moments. Stay present and in touch with your emotions – they can guide you like a compass. Look into the present. Really, look into it. Go deep. Fully open up to it. Where are you holding back? Where are you resisting? Where can you let go? If you fully surrender to the present moment, then you’re bound to find the gifts. You will find that life can never stop giving; it always gives to those who are open. Once you see it, it will be overwhelming. Can you handle it? Can you be open to it? Can you surrender to it? If you can and you do, then you will find only beauty, bliss and blessings.
This is the secret: you can only receive a gift in the moment if you are open to receiving all of them (in that same moment). So don’t close yourself off from the challenges life brings, because then you will also close yourself off from all the love and joy and fulfillment in those times you perceive as challenging. So if you are feeling depressed... what gifts are you missing?

Emotions each have their gift
We tend to see emotions as either negative or positive (and want only the positive), but they are neither. If we can get in touch with our emotional world, and stay connected with it without judging it or suppressing it, and without being overwhelmed by it nor dismissing it, we can always be peaceful, connected, balanced and even joyful. Emotions can be (and often should be) seen as separate from the triggers that seem to cause them; this is a way to observe them objectively and take in their message. Emotions keep you connected to your Self, and show you how to navigate through life, coming out stronger and more balanced. Emotions show us where personal growth, healing, or a shift in perspective are needed, or where we are resisting something or holding on too tightly. In combination with thought, they are a compass for finding our way. They always point us in the right direction, if we know how to listen.
Here are some emotions that some people would label as ‘negative’ and the gifts they bring:

• Anger: Anger is a sign that someone has crossed your boundaries, or (most likely) that you have crossed your own boundaries in some way (like not listening to the signals of other emotions, or doing things for others just because you feel like you have to in order to get accepted by them). It can also be an attempt to suppress a (seemingly) more painful emotion such as sadness, and an attempt to experience a (false) sense of control over it. Anger can help you set boundaries, be assertive, communicate your needs, or be a sign that you lost touch with some suffering underneath the surface. In that case, try to slow down and find the pain that is hidden underneath.
  

• Sadness and grief: Urge you to slow down and take notice of the pain, and to direct healing to where it is necessary. It urges us to look after ourselves and engage in self-care. Sadness is an exercise in healthy self-love. It also shows you that you care, and it can easily transform into gratitude if fully felt/experienced.

• Worry/Stress: This is a chance for you to do a reality check: are my worries realistic? What evidence is there that these thoughts are true? What evidence is there that they are not true? What would I tell someone I loved if they were in this situation and had these thoughts? In this situation, what is the worst that could happen? In this situation, what is the best thing that could happen? Are these thoughts hindering me in major ways in my life, preventing me to achieve or pursue things that are important to me and/or could bring me a (deeper) sense of fulfillment? Asking yourself these questions can help you determine whether it is best to avoid the situation, or develop a skill and/or courage to overcome your limiting beliefs. Usually, working to overcome your limiting beliefs is the best choice of action here, because you can always avoid the situation later if you still feel the same about it afterwards! But then at least you are not avoiding it out of fear or worry, and you can make a more balanced decision. Fear, worry and stress often cloud our judgment and when left unchecked might make us (not) do things that we'll regret later (sometimes many years later). Recurring worries might indicate that you need to let go of the need for a secure future. There is no such thing! Worry and stress can also be signs that you would benefit from some serious self-care strategies: get some rest, read a book, take a break. The world often looks much brighter after a good night's sleep!
  

• Guilt: Guilt is a sign that we have done something that is in conflict with our own values. If you see it as something that can guide you to be a better person or to set things right, then things will turn back into balance very quickly. And it will feel really good! Guilt can help us stay true to ourselves and move through life with integrity. Setting things right, or following our moral compass to begin with, will give us a strong sense of self-respect. And if you feel like you've lost your way... it's never too late to set things right and start over!
  

• Fear: Fear can be an alert to danger. However, most of our fears are imagined and irrational. Overcoming our fears can give us confidence and courage, and make us more complete and balanced as human beings. When fears are not adequately, objectively and thoroughly explored, it can lead to many reinforcing thoughts where we end up scaring ourselves and sustaining the problem by avoiding confrontation. So make sure to apply the reality check, find the roots of your fears, and pull them out like weeds (see also the worry/stress part). Emotions that result from thought are never pure, and as you get more in touch with your emotional world, you will learn to see the difference more and more clearly and quickly.
  

The gifts of (lost) romantic love

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

I lost two romantic relationships this year, one at the beginning of the year and one at the very end. The first one ended because it had reached its natural expiration date - and so it was a relief when it ended. The latter was much harder to deal with, even though it lasted for a shorter time, because I didn't (and still don't) understand why it had to end. It feels like I have waited my whole life for the kind of connection we had (and to some degree still have), only to find that it is out of my reach...

When romantic love is lost untimely, it hurts. But something beautiful can happen when we stay in touch with our pain in that moment. Be thankful for the pain as well as the beautiful moments you shared together and the joy it brought to your life (which is probably still there to some extend). You can’t exclude one without excluding the other; the only way is to fully, wholeheartedly be open to both. Stay in touch with yourself; hold yourself. Take this opportunity to see that you can handle the pain; that there is no need to be afraid of it. That you can stay open and connected to yourself (and by extension, to others also), now and in the future. And notice that, when you experience it in this way (i.e. feeling the empowerment in your own vulnerability, without resistance to the pain and without wallowing in it - staying in touch with both the joy and the pain in a balanced way), they merge. This is what some call (universal) Love, which is much greater than romantic love. And in that place, when fully embraced, all pain vanishes and/or transforms, leaving you just with a full heart, overflowing with Love and gratitude.

Also, lost love is an illusion. Heartbreak is an illusion. For you can never lose the love you felt (even though it feels that way sometimes, especially when our gift of love is not received or reciprocated by the other person), because the love you felt for him or her was never theirs; it was yours. It originated from you and will stay with you, and you can always choose to continue feeling/giving it (silently or expressed); there is no reason to stop the flow of love unless we want to punish ourselves. And staying in touch with your love, the love you feel, also doesn't prevent you from saying goodbye if that is what you need to do. Love can be felt in any situation, whether from a distance or up close. The love you feel is your gift to the world. There is no way you can lose it, but the only way to feel it and be aware of it is to give it away / let it flow through you freely (as universal love, in its many forms). 

Don't limit yourself to feeling and expressing love only in a romantic relationship. Try to experience love and caring and appreciation (for yourself and others and nature) in everything you do. Love is still with(in) you; so share it, feel it and enjoy it. Whether others receive your gift of Love is their business, but really it doesn't matter, because just the act of giving is always a gift to yourself first. If you can find someone who appreciates your gift and is as open to (giving and receiving) it as you are, even better: after all, most things are better when they are shared. And don't be surprised if your gift of love (whether silently experienced or expressed) inspires others to open up in response. So don’t allow the world to extinguish your flame; instead, shine your light on the world and allow it to transform all (within and without) as a result.

Trust that life will have gifts to offer no matter what happens in the future, and let go of the need for security (definite answers) or wanting to control outcomes. Also, accept the past, as we can't change it. In other words, surrender to the present moment. That is the key to receiving its many gifts.

In one of my next posts I will outline some specific tools that I use for working through emotions and staying in touch with my true (loving) nature.

Random Acts of Kindness For The Earth

Here are some gift ideas for our Earth this Christmas (and the rest of the year of course). If we are all mindful of these things, we can make a huge difference! These are also fun challenges to set for the New Year, in case you are looking for rewarding and meaningful New Year's resolutions. And a hidden bonus: a gift to the earth is always a gift to yourself as well. 

1. Don't buy gifts this Christmas; or even stop buying stuff altogether
This is one of the most effective ways to help the earth, with many personal rewards (financial, emotional, mental and spiritual). Instead of giving gifts, you can give your time, love, attention and affection to show how much you care. Or get creative and make some gifts!
If you want a more hardcore challenge and an even bigger positive impact and reward, see the Stop shopping Challenge for more details on how to get started, and the entire section on moneyless living on this blog. Most societies throw away enough for you to live comfortably without ever spending any money. It includes all you need (food, clothes, etc) and even all the things you don't really need.

2. Appreciate nature
Most of us take our beautiful planet and all of its resources for granted most of the time, because we are not in tune (=disconnected) and get too distracted by other (trivial) matters. So go outside and enjoy the fresh air, the trees, the flowers, animals, insects, and everything else that makes our home planet unique.

3. Check out the environmental footprint of your next or latest purchase
The result may surprise you. For example, some of the clothes we buy have a huge environmental impact. Did you know that it takes about 1800 gallons of water to grow enough cotton to make just one pair of jeans? The production of clothes also contributes quite significantly to air pollution and the pollution of rivers. That’s a good reason to shop second-hand. I have not bought more than 5 new clothing items (including shoes/excluding underwear) in the last 20 years. I think that is doable for everyone with all the great secondhand shops everywhere. Clothing swaps are another option if you like to update your wardrobe regularly.
When checking the environmental impact of a product, make sure you include all steps of the process: pre-production, production, distribution, delivery, consumption (including durability and environmental impacts of using the item) and waste (e.g. packaging/non-recyclable parts). If you still want or need the product, there may be ways to reduce your environmental footprint by choosing a different brand/company, or making it yourself.

4. Reduce your dependence on utility companies, or move off the grid (eventually)
You can save water by having shorter showers (or keeping your body clean by swimming in the ocean / river / lake), hand-washing your clothes, and growing plants that suit your local climate (and don't need as much water). If you are looking for lifestyle changes rather than one-off random acts of kindness, you can even take steps towards moving off the grid, or practice being more self-sufficient. For example, you could start collecting rain water and use it to water your veggie garden.

5. Ride your bicycle or walk
European cars emit around 120 grams of CO2 per kilometer. You can save one pound of CO2 for each mile. Plus cycling and walking are way more fun and good for your health! I will write a post about the joys of walking and cycling soon.

6. Pick up trash when you see it
Always carry a bag to gather trash you may find on your way. You may even find usable stuff! You can find the strangest things out in the wild.

7. Consider your diet
Aim for locally-grown, organic, in season, unpackaged and mostly plant-based foods. It's good for the earth, and good for you.

More ideas to live an environmentally friendly lifestyle can be found here and more information about reducing your environmental footprint can be found here. Or get inspired by this list with more  Random acts of kindness (probably a bit more random than the ideas in this post).

Let me know if anything is missing from the list, or what your commitment will be this Christmas / for the upcoming year / the rest of your life.

💚 Happy holidays! 💚

My 3-Year Moneyless Journey In Review

It has been almost three years since I started the Stop Shopping Challenge, and since I started this blog. Also, with my PhD almost coming to an end, I feel that this is a perfect time for review.

Granted, I have not lived 100% moneyless for the entire time (only for about 2.5 years with some breaks in between), and I have not lived solely off of nature (without any help from others) for more than a few days. For example, I have still used tap water for most of the time and (public) internet connections. This is why I prefer to define the journey as a 'rewilding' experience. But what's in the name, right? For me it is the experience that counts.

The experience was about letting go of the attachment to money. The way I chose to do this was to find ways to live 100% without bills and without spending money (with just a few exceptions).  Because living moneyless took the focus off of money, it allowed me to reconnect to everything that brings real, tangible value to my life: friendships (with humans and other animals), food, nature, meditation, etc.

We all grow up with and get used to the idea that money is what gives us access to everything we need. Over the years, we start to (unconsciously) desire money and we forget our true desires. In exchange for choosing money over everything else, we lose our connection with everything that has real, inherent value. Nature, love, friendships, time (being present). It becomes an unconscious fixation and obsession for most of us that gets connected to everything we do. We start living more in the future rather than in the now; always working for a better life somewhere down the track.

We don't realize how deep this (dis-)connection goes until we start letting go of it. We long for money because we think it buys us what we really need and desire, but in fact it is a sham. Money has no value and chasing empty goals can only bring misery in the end. When we let go of this illusion, we can see clearly once again.

Here are some of the things that my moneyless journey has helped me do.

Being mindful and observant
I see more because I was not part of the system for a while. This new way of life has given me a new perspective for looking at the world. It is easier to observe the forest when you are not walking through it. It is easier to see the water when you are not submerged in it. And similarly, it is easier to observe society when you step back and cease to participate in it for a while.

Living in the moment
Without the fear of losing a job or the pressure of having to make money to survive (knowing I can always count on nature), it is far easier to relax and enjoy the moment. Stress is a thing of the past when we can live the way nature intended: without worries about the future, in the abundance of what nature provides, flowing with the seasons. I have also learned to have more patience and to accept (or love) things as they are, which is easy to do once you see that nothing is static but rather in a constant state of change... no matter how slow. I have learned to trust life and to believe in miracles. I know everything that needs to happen will happen in due time. This doesn't mean I have become complacent. I have learned to step up to the plate when I am able to do something to help another being without causing harm. And when it is clearly not up to me, then I have learned to let go without losing sight of what part I could help with. When I feel a strong need for change, I won't assume it is beyond my control without trying first. Thinking outside the box encourages me find new ways to help.

Appreciating what I have
Gratitude is something that developed within me naturally on this journey. In my experience, money often brings a sense of entitlement, and it can result in people taking things (as well as each other) for granted. When you live in closer contact with nature and observe keenly, you realize that while everything is given freely, you are not entitled to anything and nature doesn't owe you anything. Neither do other people. Therefore everything is grace, and while I remain conscious of this I don't take anything for granted. Habit can make people unconscious, and that is when we stop appreciating things and other beings. When we get too comfortable, habit slips in. And habit destroys our consciousness. Don't let your comforts lull you to sleep.

Building character
One of the biggest benefits of this journey was that it helped me to be the best version of myself. It inspired me to look within constantly, and to look at the way I relate to other people. It inspired me to have high standards of myself in my relationships with other people, because this way of life connects me to people in a different way. This lifestyle clearly demonstrates our interdependence - with each other as well as with other species - and it motivates me to be at my best and to help others whenever I can. Also, working on myself, exploring the boundless depths of my being and uncovering all that I am is the best way I can contribute to a better world.

Currently, I am still living mostly moneyless, living mainly off of food from supermarket dumpsters, supplemented with foraged and homegrown foods. I still dive at least two times a week, and preferably daily. I still marvel at the waste of society and will never forget what I have come to understand about society and money. However, at the same time moneyless living is no longer a compulsive goal for me at this time. This doesn't mean I will give it up in the near future, even though perhaps I may become less rigid about it for a while.

Having said that, I am still aiming to set up a sustainable, self-sufficient home base somewhere. I have no desire to be part of a system that doesn't serve me (nor other people, other species or nature). I will not give up the consciousness and awareness I gained through this experience. I will stay present and remain aware and observant. I will keep my eyes open to the truth, and see what is happening around me, beyond how it is presented to us by the media or people in power who have a vested interest in certain perspectives being pushed onto the public. I will keep questioning everything so that I can keep living my own truth, and not anyone else's.

Thanks to Dörte Giebel for this picture :)

(You may also enjoy reading The Moneyless Mindset vs. the Exchange Mindset: What moneyless living has taught me)

Happy Birthday, Mum!

Today it is my mum's birthday! Two months ago while I was writing a post about my dad for his birthday, I felt inspired to also write one for my mum. And luckily I did not have to wait long to post it!

Below are some things that my mum taught me. My mum and I share more differences than me and my dad, but I am getting to a point where I realize I have more in common with her than I previously thought, and many of those things I have been taking for granted, because at first glance they may not seem 'spectacular', 'bold' or 'extraordinary'. Most of us don't appreciate subtleties and intricacies anymore. 

However, the following points have proven to be important building blocks for me to become the person I am today and I am often reminded of them as I go about my life.

Treasure and respect nature
Throughout my life, mum taught me a lot about nature. We went berry picking, picking mushrooms and went for long walks in the park, marveling at all the different creatures, big and small, plants and trees. I learned to treat all beings like they matter, because they do. And not just outside the house, but also inside. She taught me how to catch creatures that had gone astray with respect and care by trapping them in a glass with a piece of paper covering it, and then leading them outside. That is how I still catch spiders, beetles and flies in my house (and even mosquitoes nowadays, which used to be the only exception). Mum taught me to see how we are all a part of the web of Life and that purposely killing a creature without provocation is always unnecessary.

Appreciate the little things
Mum has taught me awareness of many things that most people (including me) tend to take for granted most of the time. Mum often points out her gratitude for the air we breathe, the flowers, the trees around us, and all the wonderful beings we share the earth with. I have always been a big-picture-kind-of-person, so for me it is easy to forget about things that are always there. And nowadays I find myself more and more noticing the things my mum consistently and often pointed out to me while I was consistently overlooking them as I was growing up.

Hospitality
My mum offered her couch to travelers from near and far long before it became fashionable. I often had friends over that I met while exploring the globe and she always welcomed them with open arms. She loves learning about different cultures and is always eager to host people from anywhere to exchange views and experiences. We literally had visitors from each of the (habitable) continents on earth.

If you can help someone in need, help them
When I was about 17, I met a boy who soon after became homeless. He had no family to help him, a big debt and no job (and no hope of being considered for a job). He was recovering from an accident at work, and got zero support from the previous employer, nor the government. Then he lost his home – I think it was because the person he was living with disappeared. Once you lose your home, it is very difficult to get your life back on track (at least in the Netherlands). It is impossible to keep a bank account, because you don’t have an address. Without an address and bank account, you also can't get a job, nor receive any unemployment benefits. Once you no longer work in our society, you get discarded and treated like you don’t exist. You don't get health insurance either, because you need to pay for that in the Netherlands. And you can’t pay for it if you don’t have income (or a bank account). However, the government can fine you at any time for not being insured, because it is mandatory for all citizens.
He came over e to meet my parents and my mum adopted him as her own son from the moment she met him. She said he could stay with us and he ended up staying for a long time, much longer than I personally wanted, because he had a lot of problems which caused a lot of tensions in our house. Mum guided him through all of the red tape and bureaucracy of getting his finances back in order, getting him a bank account, getting him welfare and finally also helping him find a place of his own. It took about eight months. All the time my mum was always understanding, stuck up for him when he was having angry outbursts towards the system and helped us to try and see the world through his eyes - even for a moment. 

 I am pleased to say that my adopted brother is doing well and still part of the family, visiting my parents at least once a week. He has become somewhat of an expert with technical appliances, and often helps my parents out if they are having trouble with their phones or computer.
I was amazed though that it was so difficult for a person to get back into the system once they were out. It was my first experience of seeing how the state really has no interest in its citizens, only in the profit that is being generated. It made me realize how silly the system is, and how lives really don’t matter in that system. We are just a number, a spoke on a wheel. Our needs don’t matter, even our most basic ones. As soon as we need support - the support we pay for through taxes and by being a member of society - that support we believe exists is not given. And since we have been discarded from society, we lose our voice. No one will hear your cries and you will be left to die. People will walk past you as you lay crying in the curb, but most people will just think you are crazy and worthless - and leave you to die as well. Not my mum though. My mum will not give up on you. When she was 15 she also helped a friend to get back on her feet by offering her to live with her in her room for a couple of months (with the support of her mum), and another time when she was 18 with another friend. They are still good friends.


Coloring outside the lines: it’s okay to stand out
My mum is an artist. She creates her artworks from the heart and lets them flow from her personal experiences. Personal experience is never generalized. To have interesting ideas, it helps to have an interesting life. And to stand out, it is important to question the very fundamentals of society that most people blindly accept as the norm. Standing out may make you a target for criticism, but it also gets you seen and heard. If the message is worth it, then don’t be afraid to stand out and make yourself heard. It is not about you anyway: it is about the message.
Here are some of my mum’s beautiful works (and the catalogue of her most recent work can be found here):

Anti-waste mentality
Mum definitely knows who to save money, and my moneyless challenge was partly inspired by her. She hardly buys anything for herself and is very creative with what she has. She gives most of what she has to others. She also knows a lot about expiry dates and so I often turn to her for advice on the things I find. Following her guidelines, I have never been sick from dumpster food. I think I would never have had the courage to eat some of the things I found while diving if it wasn't for her reassurance. 

Patience and seeing the value of experiences
While me and my sister were growing up, mum had a lot of patience with us so that we could learn about life and explore and grow (even when things were challenging and not going particularly smoothly, because my sister and I are very different and had a lot of fights). We had real childhoods and spent a lot of time outdoors. We often came back with dirty or muddy clothes, sometimes with animals we found and often with interesting friends. My main friends as a young child were the ducks that lived in the nearby park. They stayed clear of most people but they came to me for cuddles and we spent a lot of time together. Some of them moved into our garden and practically lived there. Once one of them accidentally got trapped in the house. The whole house was full of duck-poo when we got back home.

I am extremely grateful for the childhood I have had, growing up in harmony with nature and learning about the value of Life. I am grateful that I got so much freedom and unconditional love growing up, and that I got to learn to make up my own mind. This has certainly helped me to choose an unconventional path in life. To me there is just no better feeling than knowing you are a part of Life, in all its facets, and having the freedom to follow your heart.

May all of us be able to find a way to create this for ourselves. <3

From 'Moneyless Living' To 'Rewilding'

Lately I have noticed that I have started to cross the fine line between having guiding principles in the service of learning about a new way of life, and having rules and dogma. The aims for moneyless living and caring for the environment have slowly progressed from being an ideal I live out, to something I put on myself rigidly and sternly. Here is how to tell the difference, why it is harmful and how we can prevent it from happening.

Rules versus guidelines
The crossing of this line becomes apparent when we start saying things like: "I will NEVER do this or that again". You cannot know what you will do, and saying things like this limits personal freedom and prevents you from doing what's right for you in the moment. It takes you out of presence and into a future that doesn't exist. Examples are: "I will never use money ever again". I have said this, although I can't know what I will do in the future; I only know what my intentions are right now. I also found there is a lot of disagreement between what people consider "using money" and "living without money". It all depends on one's definition. Of course I know what I mean by it, but it is hard to convey to others without getting wordy (after all, it involves an entire mindset). In trying to explain it, the message usually gets lost.
People often end up disagreeing with some parts of my 'moneyless' definition: For example, they argue I am still using electricity, water and internet that was paid for. I am still receiving a salary (even though I am not using it). I am still using products that required production and that have been paid for (such as my laptop from uni). And I am still using roads and other public services. To them it doesn't matter that contribution can take another form than the standard financial form. It doesn't seem to count.
To make matters worse, I am planning some trips (before I start the nomadic journey) that will be financed through my PhD travel budget. Does that mean I will be using money? Probably, yes, at least indirectly. But to me the answer to this question doesn't really matter, because living without money is not (and has never been) the end goal; it is just something that helps me to get in touch with my true goal (presence and awareness) on a daily basis. And that is all that matters. However, lately (after a series of negative comments on various Facebook pages and constantly getting the same questions about this lifestyle) I have allowed myself to get drawn into explaining myself over and over (and over), which brought me closer to the realm of the 'rules' mentality.
I find myself thinking about "money" more often, and questioning whether I live entirely moneyless or not. And while reflection from time to time is really helpful and beneficial, preoccupation is not.




What's in the name?
When I gave up the use of money in my daily life, it was freeing because I no longer had to worry about money. I simply didn't have to think about it anymore. I still don't have to think about it, because I can survive just fine without it - no matter what happens. This is what appealed to me about this lifestyle. It freed up a lot of mental space to focus on other - more important - things. However, with all the comments I kept getting about what 'moneyless' means and what it is and is not to other people, I still got drawn into thinking about money all the time. Yet this is what I wanted to leave behind.
Some people have suggested the problem largely lies in the term that I use: moneyless. It keeps bringing money into the conversation simply because it is part of the description. I think they have a valid point. So I have thought about other terms that cover the journey I am on succinctly - preferably in just one word. I think the closest term that fits is 'rewilding': the process of getting back to nature and letting go of artificial rules and structures (including, but definitely not limited to, money). From now on I hope to remember to use this term more frequently instead.


What happens next?
Does this mean I am giving up living moneyless? No, probably not. Does it mean I will never use the term moneyless again? No, probably not that either. It has no real practical, outward implications; I am just no longer going to identify as a 'moneyless person'. Instead of labeling myself, it is enough for me to know what it means to me. I am also going to be less preoccupied and (mentally) radical with following some kind of ideal - I am not going to burden myself with rules and limitations. Life is about living, and freedom and peace of mind are my main priorities.
I am also not going to explain myself all the time and explain what "moneyless" means to me, as I have done way too much in the recent past when people kept telling me why my lifestyle was not 'moneyless enough' for them and why it should not be called that. Genuine questions can get a genuine answer, but comments are not questions. I am getting tired of explaining myself, mainly because it doesn't matter - it is not the essence of my journey at all. It is not important whether I use some things that others have paid for or not. The point is to become aware and to experience life from a new perspective: perhaps a more connected and pure way. Making it into a strict rule or dogma would defeat the entire purpose of the practice.

In reality, life has only one rule:  
There are no rules.

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some of the questions that I have been asked most frequently by readers of the blog or whenever I posted articles from this blog on Facebook pages, or when others shared my posts.


Feel free to ask another question if yours is not yet listed or insufficiently answered!

N.B: Recently I have decided that 'rewilding' is a better term to use to describe this way of life than 'moneyless' because living without money (as much as possible) is only a very small aspect of this way of life. So this FAQ is not entirely relevant anymore, although I have made some changes to my answers. I might write an updated version as new questions come up.
 
1. I am just one person among billions. Why would it matter what I do? Can I really make a difference?
2. What are the benefits of living moneyless? Why would anyone do it?
3. How do you get <insert random “need”> for free?
4. What motivates you to do what you are doing? 
5. How can you say you live moneyless when you are using other people's facilities that cost them money?
6. Are there exceptions to your moneyless life?
7. If you want to be free full-time and live completely moneyless, then why don’t you quit your job?
8. What do you do for fun?
9. What will you do with all that money you have saved while living moneyless and also earning a salary? 
10. What if everyone would live like you? Would society as we know it still exist? Would we still have the comforts we have today?
11. But what about things that are mass produced? Will we still be able to have things like computers and such? 
12. Are you against money? If it were up to you, would you ban money? 
13. What if the majority of people just doesn’t want to risk losing what we have and want to keep things the way they are? 
14. What about healthcare?
15. What if you get old/sick/etc?
16. How can I support a moneyless world? How can I best inspire others to change?
 
1. I am just one person among billions. Why would it matter what I do? Can I really make a difference?
The short answer is YES, you can make a difference! Not just for yourself, but also for others.
You'd be surprised of how much one person can do, and if you make it your mission to create change you will continue to discover new ways in which you can help your cause and make changes in the world that go beyond the scope of the personal / individual level. As long as your intentions and motivations go beyond personal rewards and benefits, then your reach will, too.
For example, your life mission to support the environment and the ecosystems through targeted actions may inspire many other people to make similar changes and to start working towards this common goal. You may even create a social movement in the process of reaching out to others and sharing your personal story. Every single action counts, and it is impossible to see the reach of the outward ripples that even one single action can create.
Once you have made steady changes to your life, you will see that you can't help but affect others differently also, perhaps inspiring them to change without even trying (in fact, it only works as long as you don't try): they will notice how you respond differently, how your vibe is different, that you are a happier person and that you express yourself differently. They will notice how you choose your words and actions more carefully and how they are more aligned, because your actions (as well as your words) are now directly guided by your values and beliefs. They will notice how your new way of life works much better for you and everyone around you. They will notice you live your life with more integrity, and how your life seems somehow more meaningful for that reason. They also notice how they could do the same thing and start living within their values instead of doing what everyone else is doing. All of this is contagious; it is inspiring.

2. What are the benefits of 'rewilding', or living moneyless? Why would anyone do it?
 There are so many benefits to the moneyless life that it is difficult to list them all. Let's look at some of them:
-Overall:
One of the biggest benefits to the moneyless lifestyle (or what I now like to call 'rewilding') is that it promotes freedom, in every sense of the word.This includes having more options for how you want to live your life, having more time, being more in control of your health and what you eat, and increasing your own skills for survival instead of relying on others. It puts you back in control of your own life and you no longer have to participate in society's obligations such as jobs, consumerism and taxes.
- Physical:
Rewilding is also likely to get you in a better physical shape because you are solely responsible for your own health once you quit money. Rewilding also leads you to de-clutter your life, which is a huge contributor to a more relaxed and happier life, because you have so much less to worry about (and you realize you didn't really need all that stuff in the first place!).
- Emotional:
Rewilding can make you a happier person, because it encourages living life from a place of gratitude at all times. It also gives your life instant meaning and purpose, and therefore you will experience a sense of fulfillment more of the time. Living with integrity helps you become more balanced and remain centered through most of your experiences in life.
- Cognitive:
Your mindset changes for the better when you focus less on money and simplify your life. It helps you to get back in touch with the reality of being part of an ecosystem and to live in harmony with the beings around you. It also stops the calculated type of mindset that money teaches, which promotes conditional giving rather than unconditional living. Unconditionality is another key to happiness. Having more time will create necessary space for you to reflect more and integrate new experiences. This also helps you stay grounded and equanimous. More about the moneyless mindset in this post.
- Social:
Rewilding (and living without money) promotes independence (from the system and others) as well as collaboration with others. This means your relationships with others will also improve. As with all aspects of life, you will no longer be looking for what others can do for you, but more for what you have to offer and how your relationships with others can be as meaningful as possible.
-Benefits beyond yourself:
Rewilding has also many positive impacts on the environment in that it helps other beings thrive, it halts the destruction that we are doing to the earth (mainly driven by money, ownership and our loss of connection with nature), it brings your focus back to supporting the ecosystem you live in and brings you more in touch with the natural resources you use, which promotes efforts to protect and help replenish them.

3. How do you get <insert random “need”> for free?
When your main focus is contribution (instead of just getting everything for free) and you start getting creative, you will see that there are many ways to get things for free. Of course you can work your way towards living completely for free in steps/ stages, as I have done (that is: without using money). You may also discover along the way that you no longer need certain things, even if you really believed you needed them in the past. So it is best to just get started somewhere and see how far you can take it, without anticipating too much on things you might think you need. You can simply eliminate one cost after another and deal with each need as it arises. I have to add though that 'getting something for free' is a misleading way to describe this way of life and it puts the focus in the wrong places. Contribution and giving is always the main focus. All needs should therefore be questioned in the process of simplifying life.
Some ideas about how to find basics for free can be found here, how I found my first free home is explained in this post and some ideas on what to do for fun can be found here.

4. What motivates you to do what you are doing?
When I started the challenge, it was mostly about saving money and doing something practical to help the environment besides just studying environmental psychology and doing research. However, very soon into the challenge the other benefits mentioned above took over, or rather supplemented these initial goals. This helped me to keep going, and turn my vision into a mission; a way of life. The journey became self-rewarding. This last year my life has felt more meaningful than ever before. Also I have felt happier and healthier than I have felt in a long time. And I have definitely felt more focused, determined and successful than ever. All that is left now is for me to gain total freedom after I finish my final job (the PhD degree) in 2017. Then I will be completely free. I am very much looking forward to taking this last step towards personal freedom.

5. How can you say you live moneyless when you are using other people's facilities that cost them money?
This question has come up a lot. So much so, that I decided to write a post about how I see it. You can read more about it here. The bottom-line is that living moneyless requires a different mindset, which will develop once you get started on the path. It is therefore difficult to describe, but perhaps with some imagination it can be understood from the post that I just mentioned. Money can create a mindset of exchange and a focus on calculating cost and value in all our interactions with others, which makes our relationships less personal and less rewarding.
In addition, the distinction between what costs money and what doesn't is completely artificial and made up. In the end everything comes from the earth and returns back to the earth. What is free and what costs money has changed over the years and will keep changing. So why would we even make that distinction?
When you live moneyless, you are no longer constantly thinking about exchange. People don't give to me conditionally, and I don't give to them conditionally. All interactions are unconditional. This is what happens when money is taken out of the equation, and that is the point of 'moneyless living' for me. The focus is on what you can give instead of how much you can get.
In this context I also think it is important to remember that not paying money does not mean that one does not contribute. The contribution just happens in a different form, which is more focused on serving others directly and serving the ecosystem that we are all a part of than on "financial contribution" (which sounds rather vague and unspecific in comparison, doesn't it?). Read more about that here.
One final point is that the answer to this question ultimately doesn't matter, because living without money is not actually the goal of this way of life. The goal is to get more in touch with nature: to increase awareness and consciousness. I would like to call it 'rewilding'. That is freedom. Read more about that here.

6. Are there exceptions to your moneyless life?
When I say I am living moneyless, it means that I am not spending any money, without exceptions so far this year and with a few exceptions last year. However, I still have a job at the moment (until October 2017) so I still receive an income and I still have some indirect payments (automatic taxes). Also, I use office supplies that are paid for by the university and I get some incentives to use for traveling and costs while traveling. This means there are occasions where I am still indirectly 'consuming'; mostly through my job.
However, after October 2017 I am planning to retire completely and then I will be completely money-free. Then I will no longer burden the earth directly nor indirectly by using valuable resources for valueless reasons. This will be the final step in the process of my personal liberation; the final step towards freedom. It is what I am preparing for right now with the foraging challenge.
However, remember that living without money (or with less money) is only a tool to help me in what my way of life is really about: rewilding - getting more in touch with nature and raising awareness/consciousness.

7. If you want to be free full-time and live completely moneyless, then why don’t you just quit your job?
I have considered quitting my job, but eventually decided against it. I seriously considered quitting my job at the end of last year and with any other job I would have. So this last step of giving up everything is taking a bit longer than I hoped and ideally it would have come sooner. But I do treat my job more like a hobby now (I take it less seriously) and definitely don’t let it dictate my choices and priorities. As a consequence I enjoy it more too, and I am probably even more productive. I used to take my work way too seriously to the point where I would often stress myself and others out (I suffered from burnout a couple of times in my life).
However, a couple of points have made me decide against quitting this job. I started the job before I started this challenge and my job provided me with the ideal circumstances to try out moneyless living to decide if it was right for me. Also, it is a temporary job so it won’t be much longer and it gives me exactly enough time to prepare all my next steps in detail, before starting the nomadic journey. The job also gives me a lot of freedom: I can work from home whenever I want and can even include writing this blog as part of it. It is almost as good as being entirely free, and a great step in-between.
In a way this job helped me discover the moneyless life, because it gave me the final push to take environmental action (with the topic of my PhD being about interventions to promote behavior change to mitigate climate change). So I feel some loyalty towards the people who made this possible (my supervisor mostly, who has been very supportive of my personal efforts with this moneyless project from the very start). I have also found that it works much better to take on this challenge in steps rather than throw myself into the deep end straight away. The process of freeing yourself from society (and changing/ re-building your mindset) takes time. And because at the start I still had my connections with society (through my job) I was able to test the waters first with some peace of mind.
Nowadays my mindset is so different that it is hard to imagine that I was so obsessed with getting a job in the first place. And it is hard to imagine that I would have felt like I needed a job at all. But I did. And I found one. Luckily I also took up the moneyless challenge, because now I know I don't need a job, which frees me up for the future. So in part, I have my job to thank for the idea to go moneyless and for supporting me through this process of transitioning from being trapped in the system and slowly freeing myself. I am very grateful for this and I believe that some loyalty from my side is in order to complete this project. So all of this made me decide to finish what I started.
If I would have been unable to find this  particular job, perhaps I would have tried to go moneyless anyway. It is difficult to say in hindsight. It may have seemed more difficult with the old mindset of not feeling good enough and being so focused on the need to find a job and to be part of society and to ‘contribute’ in the traditional sense of the word. Having said that, others have shown that this way is also possible. But perhaps it is reassuring to know that you don't have to take the plunge right away, and that you can make small changes on this journey and still reach the same destination. I think this makes moneyless living appear much more attainable to many people. For most people, it is much easier to oversee one change at a time than to just changing everything overnight.
You don't have to give up everything right away. You can work your way towards it and just let go whenever you are ready. In the meantime you can just work on preparing yourself.

8. What do you do for fun?
When you follow your passions in life you will notice you don’t need so much ‘fun’ anymore, because your life is already fun and joyful. Fun can be an escape people need when they take life too seriously too much of the time, or when they don't want to face the reality of their lives somehow. However, fun and enjoyment of life is important and I did write a post on how to do certain things that most would consider fun. Read more about things to do for fun here.

9. What will you do with all that money you have saved while living moneyless and also earning a salary?
At the start of the challenge, the plan was to save up a lot of money and then buy some land in France or Spain (or somewhere else with a good climate) to start an ecofarm or even a small ecovillage, where I could grow my own food and live a happy, peaceful life, enjoying nature and all it has to offer. But now I am not so sure what I will do. If I buy land, then it brings more worries into my life and it is putting me back into the system that I have learned to reject and have come to detest (the money-grid), as having land means having to pay property taxes in most countries (yes, there are exceptions). And that means I am yet again no longer 100% free. At the same time I also have the urge to settle down after so much moving around and living a ‘rootless’ kind of life (although definitely not in Norway as I find the cold and dark winters absolutely unbearable).
So I am not sure what I will do. Perhaps I will live the nomadic, moneyless life for a while and travel from Norway to Spain on a horse or hiking, and then I can just see where the road takes me. I can see what I find and if I find a beautiful location where I want to settle, I can do that with or without buying land. Perhaps there is some land that is not used where I can live. It is hard to predict this kind of stuff. We will see what the universe has in store for me. I am sure that I will know what to do once the time comes. In the meantime, as always, it is good to have options. Freedom is mostly about creating options.

10. What if everyone would live like you? Would society as we know it still exist? Would we still have the comforts we have today?
Many people seem to worry that if everyone would live like this, there would be a lot they have to ‘give up’. Of course it is difficult to imagine what a moneyless world would look like now, because we have made a lot of technical advancements since the stone age (and understandably, not everyone wants to go back to that). I do know that when we all live moneyless, a few things will start to happen:
1. We would all have a lot more time, because none of us would need to work anymore.
2. Our collective environmental footprint will be reduced significantly, because a lot of damage is done in the name of employment (‘just doing my job’), profit and (economic) growth (things some like to call ‘progress’).
3. Everyone will take responsibility for their basic needs, which means that everyone will invest time in learning how to grow their own food and purify water. Cities will probably be rebuilt to be more sustainable; more in line with keeping water, air and food clean and accessible. People will do this voluntarily (without payment) because they have the time and it is their home.
4. People will uphold and maintain societal structures they deem important, such as health care. So a moneyless society will demonstrate what people think is important and where efforts should be directed. I imagine that structures like the military will disappear almost instantly, as they benefit no one when money is no longer involved. So will politics and other unnecessary societal structures. I imagine that things like education (mainly of survival and other self-help/life skills), the arts and health services will flourish.
5. Natural resources will once again be valued, protected and cherished rather than exploited and depleted for all they are worth.

11. But what about things that are mass produced? Will we still be able to have things like computers and such?
Many people who believe in a moneyless world fail to take action because they fear that they have to make (big) sacrifices. This is not the case. In my case, I have not had to sacrifice anything. I have my own little home on a farm with plenty of space, I have access to enough food to feed several families and I have all the stuff that I need and more (I am still downsizing even though I didn't have that much to begin with). Each time I simplify my life more or get rid of more stuff, it feels liberating (and not like a loss or sacrifice at all).
But what if we would all live this way? Would I still have the computer that I am using to type?
Well, if the answer would be no, then does that mean that ‘slave labor’ is the price for our luxuries? Or at least the fear of losing those things is keeping us all tied to the current system. Is that worth it? And is it even an option, realistically, for the long term? I’d say no. It is not sustainable and we will destroy the planet this way, probably sooner rather than later. Again, is that worth it? If all is destroyed, would you regret not making changes and taking the chance of perhaps being even happier than you are now? Would you feel like you had done enough to prevent this from happening once major catastrophes start to happen that affect all of us? (And yes, they have already started, but perhaps none of them have affected you personally yet; at least not as far as you realize.)
Although it may not be possible to keep comforts in the form they are in right now when forced labor falls away, I do believe that production of things that people really want and need will still happen even without the use of money, if it is something people value. Perhaps a different kind of product will be invented, from different materials (that are easier to produce on a smaller scale) and one that lasts much longer because then the aim will be sustainability rather than consumerism (for more information on the purposeful speedy expiry of products, see this video (the end of ownership), which explains the basics of a resource based economy.  You can also watch the Story of Stuff (very insightful!), which puts everything in perspective and explains the circular economy. For more about a circular economy see this TED talk by Thomas Rau).
It is impossible to describe with certainty exactly what the future would look like. But the fact remains that what it would look like is totally up to us. We can create the future the way we want it to be, in total freedom. If we miss something, it is our responsibility to (re-)create it; this time in a more sustainable way. If we don’t like something, it is up to us to change it. This new paradigm is the kind of world that stimulates and rewards innovations and initiative, instead of laziness and complacency.
So to come back to the question: is it possible to keep all the luxuries we have right now? The answer is, I don’t know (although the future is in our hands and I do believe that people are capable of creating anything if it is important enough for them, with very limited resources). But let me ask you this: Is it possible to sustain human life without making radical changes to the way we do things? Is the way we live now, collectively, in any way sustainable? And here I know for sure that the answer is no. And that is all I need to know. It makes the above question completely irrelevant.

12. Are you against money? If it were up to you, would you ban money?
At the start of my challenge, I had nothing against money. I was neutral to money. I did not feel the need for others to change. My journey was purely personal. I didn’t see money as good or bad, just as a tool. But now, through my experiences and reflections, I have seen the links between money and so many forms of destruction. And I would like to see humanity move beyond this ancient (and debilitating) construct.
In a world without money, would natural resources get exploited? Would hierarchies exist in the same way as they do now? Would nature be destroyed or protected? Would we live in harmony with nature or go against it? Would we cherish other beings or carelessly drive them to extinction? Would people still work jobs and would they still work the same type of jobs, or would they do something more constructive with their time on earth? Would people live to support the system, or themselves, each other and the earth? When you really get into it, you will see that many things are directly related to money, consumption and our habits of exchange. We can all move beyond it by getting back in touch with nature.
However, I have also come to realize that money is not the cause but rather the consequence of our dysfunctional way of thinking. So banning money would not work: the root cause is in the mind so we need to change (evolve) our way of thinking first and foremost.

13. What if the majority of people just don’t want to risk losing what we have and want to keep things the way they are?
At the very least it would be great to have some part of the world where this type of society could be trialed: one that does not rely on money and that produces everything on a small scale. This gives people who do not believe in money anymore the chance to opt out and it gives people who do not believe in moneyless societies an example of how it could work. I understand if people do not share my ideas. I don’t want to force them to change. But I also do not want to be forced to remain in a system where I don’t belong.
Additionally, as mentioned previously: if we don't start making changes now, the world will be headed for destruction sooner rather than later. I do not want to wait here and watch it happen. I want to do what I can to contribute to a solution before it is too late. Time is running out. Nature doesn't care whether you believe in climate change or not, and while we are debating this and other pointless topics, the window of opportunity is closing.

14. What about healthcare?
Ultimately everyone is responsible for their own health. Yes, some health problems may be caused by genetic makeup, but the majority of health problems stem from the ways we live our lives (not enough nutrients, not enough oxygen/clean air, not enough movement). The current trend of making others responsible for our health does not promote self-care and healthy decisions.
However, as mentioned under question number 10, I believe that health care will still be accessible in a moneyless society. Until we reach that point, we need to learn to support ourselves in the best way possible. Learn about natural medicine and learn about plants. All the cures in the world are out there, and prevention is the best cure of all. That means living a healthy lifestyle with healthy food (foods from the earth) and natural activities (NOT sitting in an office all day).
Most likely, the same system that offers you health care is also making you sick.
Read more about my views on health here.

15. What if you get old/sick/etc?
Well, we all get old and eventually we all die. This is an inescapable fact of life. And so for me it is illogical to sacrifice my freedom for something like health care (which I may never need, and have not needed in a long time). Why would I sacrifice my whole life (and the freedom to live it as I choose) in exchange for something that I may or may not need some time in the future (i.e. health care)? It doesn't make sense.
So yeah, if I get sick I may die, someone may help me, or I may find a natural cure. If I do end up dying, it is called natural selection. It is how nature keeps its populations clean. And when I get old, I die as well. But I will die a free person, and that's what's important.

16. How can I support a moneyless world? How can I best inspire others to change?
Actions are the foundations for change, because they speak louder than words. Words are only a supplement. On top of that it feels better too, because actions are empowering and can redirect and strengthen the energy generated by having a vision. Doing something therefore always beats doing nothing.
When you want others to change, it must start with you. You cannot get others to change first. If you feel and see that change is necessary and possible, then you must take that first step. I sometimes see people out there desperately trying to change the world, but they forget to take those first steps. Instead they try to change the world before they change themselves by trying to convince others to change first. But how can we expect others to change when we are not even willing or ready to do so ourselves? If you are in this situation and find yourself promoting change to others but are not consistently taking the necessary practical steps that are involved, then you have a wonderful opportunity. Obviously something is still holding you back, and it is likely that that very same thing is keeping others from changing too. So if you explore what it is and figure out how to overcome your personal barriers, then you can lead the way for others to follow in your footsteps, even more effectively than if you would have had no barriers to overcome. After all, how can you be a teacher or mentor if you never had to learn anything?
If you fail to walk the talk, nobody will take you seriously and you won't be able to offer anyone any guidelines on how to get started. Also, you might implicitly contribute to the myth that it is okay to talk about the need for change without taking actual action; that talking about it and being offended by the state of the world is a form of taking action. It is not. We need real actions to create lasting, structural change. On the other hand, if you have walked the path yourself, then you can give specific guidelines on how people can get started, and you can demonstrate to the world that change is possible and beneficial (to yourself and to the world). Inspiring real structural and societal change can only come from personal change.
(See also question 1).



This page may be updated if new questions come in or as my views on life (and hence answers to the questions) evolve.